Analysis of My Calling To Write

My calling to write.
From a young kid to do it.
I must admit,
That decision made...
Came from somewhere else.
And all I then knew,
I was attracted to writing.
On walls in an apartment.
Where I grew up to use them,
As a development to express...
The writing of letters.
Whether or not the words,
I created made sense.
Loving to write on walls as if a canvas.

Needless to say,
My mother was not amused at all.
Since then I did not realize,
When she painted over my words.
Leaving me to believe repeatedly,
Outside in the hallways...
Had been a better place to 'scrawl'.

That to do I did not accept.
So I began writing on scrapes of paper.
Keeping my thoughts to myself.
And as years passed by,
My Sister Mimmie...
Discovered what I written.
To a young girl who had me smitten.
Puppy love it was.
Mimmie didn't believe I wrote this.

Well...
The older I became the more I wrote.
Showing my expressions,
To friends and other young folks.
And that same young girl,
Who stayed in my mind.
Like white on rice.
Said to me many years ago,
I had a 'calling' to write.
Although,
It had been her parents who didn't like...
Seeing me around her so much.
Because they felt my 'puppy love',
Had more of a dog appetite.

Now, today...
My appetite to write,
Keeps me up some nights until dawn.
Submitting them to poetry websites.
To be approved or disapproved.
Yet...
This is what I do.
As a therapy I use.
Loving every moment,
When to hear from readers.
Who may accept or reject,
This 'calling' I have is purposely meant...
To get a few upset.
However...
No longer can I claim to be innocent.
Since it has been God all these years,
Using my expressions...
As messages.
And...
Sometimes these 'messages',
Have more meaning to others...
Than I suspect or expect they do!

My calling to write,
Was not a decision I consciously made.
I just have a love, these days,
To share my thoughts.
As they are to say.
Leaving some to question,
Where my motivation comes from.
And if I knew that to reveal,
I would ask that 'entity' to use not only me.
But others who also have this creativity,
Be given the ability to heal the World.
Beyond the having of curiosity.