Analysis of Betrayed Us.



The night felt dead, the silence suffocating with a sky starved of the moonlight's kiss, leaving the world in obsidian grey. Darkness draped over us like death's shroud and time seemed to have slowed to a crawl. There I stood in the dead of night, the scent of blood an unpleasant pleasure. I stood with a smile drawn across my face, a stark contrast to my clothes ensanguined.

A laugh erupted from my chest, breaking the grave like stillness of an eerie night. A wicked laugh akin to the devil, a sound so mephistophelean that it made the night tremble. But disbelief gnawed at my sanity as I struggled to comprehend the scene unfolding before me: my own friend holding a gun to my temple.

His tear-filled eyes trembled, fingers wrapped around the trigger like a desperate prayer. He felt sick as I peered into his eyes, dissecting the emotions that weighed on his heart. I could feel the trepidation, I could sense his fears. For once upon a time, when guns were a distant spectre, a time void of wars and armies, when nihilism was a tale found in the pages of imagination, our minds were at synch and there were only two of us, dreaming of a future we would create.

And now as he stood before me, his eyes like a desolate mirror reflected mine perfectly. There and then I had my epiphany, I was the one who betrayed us. I could barely recognize myself in the limelight of his eyes, I had become a creature devoid of a soul, darkness itself veiled in my image, I had become the very thing I swore to protect us from. How many had died in my course? how many more would die if I persist? Perhaps in my mania I would veer my world to chaos.

With a sad smile, I placed a finger before my forehead, "do it." I whispered, "release me from my misery." And I shut my eyes close, the tears streaming down my face. For I knew I wasn't going alone. I've seen his smile, his laugh, his tears, his frown but that one emotion, I had never seen before. Yet I knew exactly what it was. A black despondency,

'Pow,' A report of gunshot through the still night. The last thing I heard before darkness crept into the edges of my vision. In the end, I was the one who betrayed us.


Scheme A X A X X X
Poetic Form
Metre 0111010100101110111001001001101101111011111101111001110111101010111011011101101111 011011110011101110101010110100111111011010111110011101010101001111110011110 11111010101010101011111110111010001011111111001011111110101110010100111101011001011001010010101011010101111010101101 0111101111101001001011001011110100110110111110101001111110101001101100110110110101011110111110110111101111101010110011111110 1011110100111011110011111000111110110111111110100111111111111110101110101111010111010100 1001111011011110110101010111000111011011
Characters 2,170
Words 421
Sentences 27
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1
Lines Amount 6
Letters per line (avg) 281
Words per line (avg) 68
Letters per stanza (avg) 281
Words per stanza (avg) 68

About this poem

This is a short prose rather than a poem. When asked what would be your last words if your best friend pulled a gun to your head, this was what I pictured. To anyone reading this, I wonder what your answer would be.

Font size:
 

Written on May 01, 2024

Submitted by Lil_fortune on April 30, 2024

Modified by Lil_fortune on April 30, 2024

2:06 min read
6

Lil Fortune

I'm an emerging writer and a lover poetry. I'm most interested in dark themed works as they are reflections of our very soul. The essence of our thoughts expressed on a pad more…

All Lil Fortune poems | Lil Fortune Books

1 fan

Discuss this Lil Fortune poem analysis with the community:

0 Comments

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this poem analysis to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Betrayed Us." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 3 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/186320/betrayed-us.>.

    Become a member!

    Join our community of poets and poetry lovers to share your work and offer feedback and encouragement to writers all over the world!

    More poems by

    Lil Fortune

    »

    June 2024

    Poetry Contest

    Join our monthly contest for an opportunity to win cash prizes and attain global acclaim for your talent.
    27
    days
    18
    hours
    56
    minutes

    Special Program

    Earn Rewards!

    Unlock exciting rewards such as a free mug and free contest pass by commenting on fellow members' poems today!

    Browse Poetry.com

    Quiz

    Are you a poetry master?

    »
    The word "poetry" is from the Greek term "poiesis", which means?
    A Saying
    B Writing
    C Reading
    D Making