Analysis of Further and Further



The sunset, the sunrise, the ocean, the stars
The sweetness of the things I love
At once perfection  
Hidden sometimes
By storms and torrents and tears
If I see the stars
Twinkling gently
Or masked
Behind the density of clouds
Or chemtrails
If I stand before a windswept sea
And tell you I remember
Or I miss you
Your peaceful shores
As they used to be
Does that mean that you are no longer the sea?
I love the shoreline and the stars
In all their forms
Tranquil tide pools
Or windswept anger
Salt that stings
The glory of each daybreak
Painted upon an ethereal veil
Or masked by morning fog
Rain that falls
Racing teardrops
Down my windowpane
Which one will win this time?
You appear and disappear

Yet somehow when I speak to you
All you hear
Is that you’re not enough
And I’m not sure
How to be any different for you
And I’m not sure
How to translate all of your silence
Into words that bring us closer
Or into trust that would open the dams between us

What if its me that’s not enough?
Enough of the busty perfection
That excites you  
I don’t want to see you
Because you hide from me just the same
Speak the same message to me
I feel just as you do
That I’ll never be enough for you

So do we just forget each other?
Because I don’t know how to speak to you
Or be for you
And I’m tired of upsetting you
too
 


Scheme axbxxacxxacdexccaxxdxxxxxaxxx exfGeGxdx fbeexcee deeee
Poetic Form
Metre 010101001 01010111 11010 1001 1101001 11101 10010 11 01010011 11 11101011 0111010 1111 1101 11111 11111111001 1101001 0111 1011 1110 111 010111 1001101001 111101 111 101 1110 111111 101001 1111111 111 111101 0111 1111010011 0111 110111110 01111110 1011111001011 11111101 011010010 1011 111111 011111101 1011011 111111 111010111 111101110 0111111111 1111 011010101 1
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 1,359
Words 294
Sentences 5
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 29, 9, 8, 5
Lines Amount 51
Letters per line (avg) 20
Words per line (avg) 5
Letters per stanza (avg) 259
Words per stanza (avg) 64
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Submitted by on March 02, 2024

1:28 min read
19

Laina Gavriel

Former writer trying to regain her words and her heart after her mind went numb from pain and illusion. Writing again hoping to build someone more beautiful from the ashes. Seeker of truth, higher purpose and healing. more…

All Laina Gavriel poems | Laina Gavriel Books

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