Analysis of my dear siren, the one by the sea



They say once in a blue moon
That once the clock reaches noon---
They say with a slight, bitter unease
There will be a maiden in the seas

Angular she was-- jagged lines high where the skin dry
White seeping, budding through the velvet tail of her blushing, oval eye
Speckles of rouge twitched under seafoam where she swayed
Mounds of silken salt submerged as her flower decayed

Dazed in a witch’s oils ----of ember and tulips
But fickle grey, ashen fibers tear -- they fool us
Cloaked in a sooty reign, only to leak into amber
For the lady in the sea, is a brash-- insolent, gambler

She sung odes and hummed somber melodies when i slept the day
whilst i told her of my tales, of the violet ophelia in the meadows-- freckled
she nurtured me and my growing sorrows by her bed, a tispy love speckled

On gentle evenings, we shared lores
And in the morning, she returned a maiden of shores
Highborn-- she was not, i too was far from this reverie
We whispered in the reef, deep night in the mellow sea

How little did we know-- it was to an eerie end
For the men are greedy, villians i shriek! Now i only pretend
The utter joys of her fluttering words, she slurred slightly
Yet i had kept those reminiscent, reserved in this sore vault, tightly-

But on that ghastly afternoon
i felt the water slump from the languid sockets, weary with sobs
Oh, my siren-- she allured me, my lone heart’s weeping throbs

I treasured her --- beneath the blue tissues above sand
My siren, blissfully she was-- if only she and me could stand

Surely i have met her too soon
She has easily ‘llowed me to wither at the roots
For when i peer westward, i still taste the coughs of salt
And yet, in these summer nights,
i only ponder on the crimson fragrance of metal


Scheme AABB CCDD XXEE XFF BXGG HHGG AXB II AXXXX
Poetic Form
Metre 1110011 1101101 111011001 111010001 100111111011 11010101011010101 1111101111 1110101101001 10011110010 110110101111 10010110110110 101000110110010 111011010011101 11101111010001000110 110101101010101110 11010111 0001010101011 1111111111100 1100011100101 1101111111101 101110111111001 01011010011110 1111101001011110 1111001 1101011010101011 11101011111101 110001011011 1101001111010111 10111011 1110011110101 1111101110111 0101101 11010101010110
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 1,748
Words 335
Sentences 2
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 3, 4, 4, 3, 2, 5
Lines Amount 33
Letters per line (avg) 41
Words per line (avg) 10
Letters per stanza (avg) 150
Words per stanza (avg) 36

About this poem

I wrote this poem around two years ago during a sadder period of my life.

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Written on November 18, 2023

Submitted by aliciayan3093 on November 18, 2023

1:40 min read
48

Alicia Yan

I grew up reading a lot of Percy Jackson. more…

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