Analysis of Words unspoken

My thought is will I make it home tonight
Not knowing what it wrong or right
To be honest why do I put up such a fight
Ngl why try it if it ain’t a flight
High up to heavenly horizons
I wake up every morning not knowing if ima live
Wish I couldn’t feel pain anymore
To be honest I’m going back to the lord
Looking up to god and wishing up to the sky God why?
Take me
Please
So I won’t have to suffer when I’m up above take me because I’m out of love
Out of sight and mind
Out of energy to give
Why do I live when I know it going to end
Why do you try but it’s the opposite trend
I don’t know what to do
These tears be flowing through
Not just the average type
Makes me wanna get high
To the point where I could float like a kite
Maybe it was wrong
Who knows it could be right
But why me
Why now
Could I have done something wrong some way, somehow
I run to the lord
People try to treat me like a god
Ignore me
Play me
Only when they need me
They should be sorry
Everything is too much for me
Only I can see whats true in this world of hate against me
Leaving someday is hard but in the end it’ll be okay
Maybe not now
but one day
Something is wrong they say
I’m like yeah this world today
Something up
Somethings weird
maybe it was the way I was treated as a kid
Maybe it’s all the hurt they caused me
I changed and people didn’t like me
That was fine
But that’s where I drew the line
If I wasn’t for music I would’ve given up by now
everybody in this world rejected you
Nobody out here could accept you
It all gets to me
Your trauma made me just a memory
Nobody in this world remembers me
Broken
My hearts open
And words unspoken