Analysis of Empty Abyss

My soul should have been joyous yet I could only feel sorrow
Like how do I deserve the best tomorrow?
I left you all in your deepest pain
I wasn't there to support you when you endured growing pains
I lost myself in a sea of self hatred
Always detached and heavily sedated

I used to convince myself that as long as I didn't have to feel it it wouldn't be felt
No sense of pride nor self
Empowerment was sitting to high on the self
For I allowed my worth to be determined by every one else

The black sheep, the scape goat, the whore
Full of dark nights only she's truly endured
The shadows on the wall that keep her awake
Day by day trying to find some faith

What others see when they look at her makes her wonder
Why did he keep me here for this and her mind starts to plunder
For the demons inside haunt her more than anyone can tell
Mornings of waking up trying to escape a personal hell
Her mind was becoming a jail cell

Happiness was such an after thought
It caused her heart to rot
Never looking in the mirror and seeing her soul
Because her flaws felt like she couldn't ever be anything at all

Then she remembered only she can save herself
Doesn't matter if she's ever accepted by someone else.
Let them miss out on the beautiful person she becomes
Rise every day and be grateful for the slightest bit of sun
Because honestly there is no where else to run