Analysis of Worlds Apart

I live in a world where I feel like I'm nothing, nobody, alone, believing in love that does not exist. Waiting day after day, just me and my thoughts, often leading me into a dark place that's so hard to escape. Sometimes feeling such loss and desperation that I can't find my way out. What's wrong with me? Why can't I let go of these things? I find myself hoping for more, something, anything, a touch, a voice, but it never comes. Sometimes I catch glimpses of it. Am I willfully blind or ignorant? Do I not want to hear the truth or see what's right in front of me? I feel like a fool, like I'm living in a dream, an illusion. Maybe I'm just delusional. Whatever the case, something has to change. I hope I can do it, change myself, the only thing I may have control over in this world. I feel weak, beaten, broken down, lost. Like so much is in reach, I just can't hold on to it. Grasping, but always slipping. Mentally torturing myself. I am the fool on my own stage.