Analysis of not special

i can’t say for sure

what my vision was like before

all i know

is that i eventually started

to look through a kaleidoscope

doesn’t that sound dope?

if only i’d realized

the pain that lies

within those shifting shapes

if only i’d known

about all the happiness that could go

down that abyss of colorful designs

i try to color outside the lines

i hope to reshape people’s minds

but there’s just no magic to find

i attempt going against the current

i dream of my existence being a bigot’s deterrent

but instead of being broken down, the walls stand tall

and any change i bring is inadvertent

it just doesn’t make headlines anymore

someone who looks like me wearing pants

and no matter how hard i try

there will always be the chance

that my likeness

will be misconstrued

just feeding the fire

of my internal, never ending feud

begging me to just pick:

chick or dude?

that beat in a similar rhythm to mine

make incredible melodies

an off-key screeching

more nails on a chalkboard

than a pleasant tune

or just no sound at all

because i’m not who they thought of

when they first gave meaning to June

bask in my glow

if it can even be called that

don’t you know

how dim my light goes?

i’m no supergiant

or even a Blue Dwarf

if only i could morph

into a form where it didn’t have to be the norm

for me to extravagantly gleam

in reality, i barely do it now

i have no sheen

i don’t shimmer

barely even shine

if you were to give me a price

i’d merit less than a dime

i want to believe it’ll get better with time

but my future

just doesn’t look