Analysis of Oh to love the one you deserve

This was meant to be a love poem, full of jollity,
To blame is my own laxity and your betrayal

To fight you have to dirty yourself, and
To be hurt you must love

Now these lights blind my tear-filled eyes,
reminiscing a faint moment when we both felt the same

You chose his scars to my liniment,
His veiled lies to my naked truth

I warned us of the spear of despair slicing our hearts,
but the spear never reached your chest

For love without hopes and expectations,
is but a gift a cheater imparts on themselves

You left me, to return to the one
 you seeked refuge from

Composed of emptiness, my mind sprinting through
the labyrinth of doubt and pain

With a tempest within me, crestfallen,
hope is all there was

Longing like the dawn for the sun,
I had had too much of a sweet poison

Held captive by my mind, when my thoughts had just unlocked my cuffs,
I allowed you to fasten my padlocks

Woe to your love that doesn't last,
now I am too incomplete to give someone my all

I can cry and blame you for hours
but the truth is I wasn't him,
If I was him I would've pestered you to death like him
If I was him I would've controlled you to dependence like him
If I was him I would've betrayed you to insanity like him
If I was him I would've played with you to fatigue like him
And If I was like him I would've loved you so fake like him

Fleeing from the shadows of my past,
with darkness as my only abode

you merely said the words and I meant it
pure, it was, which I'll preserve

Oh to love the one you deserve,
Oh to love the one you deserve.