Symmetry60
  Gold Member

Holy hell! This is a like a biography of my youth but for the fact that her name was Christine. I was always horrified to dance fast throughout my school years. I would only dance slow. I'd seen my white bread friends dance fast and it looked so awkward and unappealing that there was NO WAY I was going to look that cornbread cracker. So many dances with Christine in High School. She made the mistake of mentioning the hickey she'd given me at a dance that I'd forgotten about until her reminder at a class of 81 cookout. If you know anything about me, you also know that was the topic of discussion for all every time someone new rolled up on me. Poor Christine was SO embarrassed. I told her, YOU are the one who brought it back to MY attention. Everyone with ears heard that story that day. Man did I love that girl. Also, as God as my witness, the only time I was ever beaten wrestling in gym class was when my uncle, the gym teacher, made me wrestle two guys back-to-back. I was so tired from whooping Mark Twomey that I let Danny Gleason have his way with me. Apparently, good, ole Uncle Leo had gotten tired of me beating everyone and thought I needed to be humbled. I love this poem, man. Brought me straight back if ya hadn't noticed. LOL! more »

Here is the comment I left on his poem. You can see why I opted for the one I did. LoL -- "
Beautiful writing. And that my name is used only makes the decision easier. Well done. ;-)"

What I voted for.

I commemorate him here where he laysStilled, in a room apart from the wailingRuined, born under runes of misfortune.A bird from the sill alights into flight,While high in the blue bright, her winged kinCartwheel joyfully as his spirit joinsTheir swell, delaying Heaven for a day,Perhaps a night. Among the plebeiansHe sees a hapless “Steves,” his happinessUtterly forsaken, though he be not.If the ceiling be uncovered to sightA hovering Russ, the knots of sorrowIn his heart could be undone, utterly.A plot of grief should hold a hope like gold,Not ash, as if hope lie dashed. Sting these wordsInto the tombstones. Let them gleam, glisten.Listen to Steve sing, then dance your answer. more »

As for this particular poem - I'm convinced that you are incapable for writing bad poetry. This is a masterpiece. I thought, as I read it, that it might be yours what with the simplicity of the subject matter and the complexity and depth of thought with which it was composed. That your poetry is visually pleasing as well lends a professionalism few others incorporate.

You are the one that makes others want to write better poetry. In fact, this poem is light years better than mine was. I'm simply trying to line my pockets with $$$ and so am trying to write more eye-to-eye in terms of what others might cling to in terms of relatability. That is the only reason my poem placed 3rd where yours should have probably been 1st or 2nd. You're too good and that terrifies some writers but makes me want to practice more. Hence, as I've realized since being a member that the best written pieces don't always make the grade as per cashola lest you be top 3 on the regular as per your God-given prowess. more »

*Hand on bible* I swear that THIS poem was top two for me. I went back and forth, as many of us do, with this one and chose one other for a specific reason, which I iterated in the comment section of his poem when I voted. See if you can figure out the reason that I, "Steve," would have opted the way I did. Poem link I voted for below.

February 17th, 2023/3rd Iteration by Steven Golden (poetry.com) more »

I apologize for not responding, but I've been dealing with health issues for months. I truly appreciate your outtakes and opinions, Lin. Thank you for understanding and for your kindness. :-)

Therein lay the beauty of poetry as it pertains to individuality. It's never wrong to be who we are, nor to have our own tastes. As for the spit of "PeePee," - this was an in-the-moment assessment. What I mean is that, at that moment, it was something that distracted me a bit for where my mind was. As I re-read it now, I see no issue with it. As with all things human, it can boil down to a point in time and where one might find themselves mindfully at a given moment. One minute the wife is adorable, the next minute you have a migraine and wish she'd pipe the hell down. :-P I can't tell you how many times I've written a piece only to change it 10, 20, 30, 50 times down the road as my outlook and moods change. Such picky sticklers we humans. I am an ardent perpetrator myself. LoL more »

Thank ya, bud. Hope all'z well. As for Chuck - I'd flip him like a cheese omelet. ;-P

I see what you did there. Let's face it I'm no Dave Chappelle but not for a lack of effort. Thanks for the chuckism. :-P

Therein lay the irony and that we incur growth from having overcome all such tribulation. I appreciate your kind words. Thank you very much.

Thank you, Suzie. You're a darling.

Only had to bribe three for the showing, so who am I to complain a few Benjamins into a 3rd place slot. Sometimes a dude gotta flex a little cashola to get the people pointed in a direction. On a serious note, I very much appreciate the kind words. At this rate I'll be out of debt by 2040. See you on the playground, brother. more »

Like I just said to Sue, I knew this one lost a bit of feel, but the syllabic meter, I believe, may have compensated. I wanted to convey the sentiment without losing too much heart, so this one was a push-pull for sure. Still a line or two I'm not crazy about, but I can work on that later. As always, your opinion is valued and valuable as is your talent to be commended. more »

Mine came out okay. It loses a bit of flare in keeping with the five-syllable meter, but what it lacks in depth I believe is compensated for via technique. Great job, Sue. You rock.

Thank you very much, Kim. That means a lot. :-)