Reflection

I had made it
a life-long policy,
to put others
before myself.
I never said no,
or voiced my opinion,
preferring to go along
with what others
wanted.
I thought this
would make me popular,
make other people
like me,
and call me friend.
I was wrong.
I was used,
but not accepted,
not speaking up for myself
diminished me
in the eyes or people.
I withdrew within myself,
felt myself fading away,
until one day
I looked in the mirror…
and saw nothing looking back.
I had given myself away
until there was nothing left,
I had sacrificed my
sense of self-worth
in return for handfuls
of nothingness.
I damned myself for a fool
as I stared into
that empty piece of glass.
But…
it was not entirely empty.
Faintly,
so faintly
there was a dim reflection,
the merest shadow
of what I once was.
It was not too late,
I was not entirely gone.
Maybe I could save myself,
return to the person
I once was,
or at least thought I was.
I could put myself first,
not in a rude way,
not by imposing my will
on others,
but by simply
being true to myself.
By not letting people
walk all over me,
as if I do not exist.
I do exist,
I do matter,
and when I can see
myself again,
I hope I like
what I see.