Groom Of The Stool

There once prospered a Tudor supreme,
His duty obliged a fine royal bottom.
'Twas ''Groom of the Stool'' the title given to beseem,
None hoariest needed to apply in Sodom.

By far 'twere merely feisty male servants,
All capable comrades in the king's court.
They had access to the royal treasury in earnest,
If being essentially for their jovial disport.

Assistant to the idle king's toileting needs,
If in excretion and ablution he'd excel.
Thus to wipe the masters bum would be his deed,
As matter of fact 'twas a grandest impel.

Unobstructed access unto anal passage,
Therefore the king could remain clean.
Any nobleman would be proud in his vantage,
Acquiring a honourable role in hygiene.

Preparation was optimal for a cleaner rear,
So vital was a bowl, water and towels.
When all items were in view royalty would cheer,
Bugger them loyal lads purging bowels.

Repulsive not but a meaningful vocation,
That wiping of excreta and diarrhoea;
Subsequently the king could have his temptation,
Indulging hence his appetite for tortilla.

Many benefits were awarded the gentry,
Certain sons of noblemen given worth;
They lived only for the king however his frenzy,
As pivotal a mandate as vaginal birth!

So here is to kissing asses and anal swell,
A trying pain in the butt if constipated;
"Twas ''Groom of the Stool'' who would enter hell,
Then he ought to lubricate the irritated.