Rate:5.0 / 1 vote

Never

Brandon Thorne 1994 (Cape Girardeau)

Free verse
I’m begging for short peace which dare not come
Forsaking the rise of an unwelcome sun
I lay all day and restlessly wrestle
Clench my fists around sheets, grip ‘till they rip

Time dilates past the point of my sanity
Fingers too weak for me to last turn the key
Inhale, exhale, scoff, wheeze, scream and cry
To survive ‘till morning I must come undone

Walking to and fro with no destination
Thoughts jump ‘round in haphazard rumination
When at sweet last I am finally drifting
Scenes snatch like a captor around tired mind

Kaleidoscopes painted black, red, white and grey
Entities voicing existential dismay
Skies roiling, threatening to fall without a care
Eyes already closed leave me no place to hide

Roused to lay drowning in residual fears
Sheets soaked by a soul and its lake of hot tears
A quality of rest will never be found
Before morning I rise, awake yet not alive

I will never sleep again

About this poem

This poem, written today, is a reflection on the horrors of insomnia.

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Written on March 22, 2024

Submitted by thornebelee on March 23, 2024

Modified by thornebelee on March 24, 2024

49 sec read
19

Quick analysis:

Scheme XAXX BBXA AAXX CCXX XXXX X
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 912
Words 166
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 1
Full analysis for Never »

Brandon Thorne

I am a 29 year-old African American. I began writing poetry as a means to cope with depression and routine incarceration and now looking to put some of it out there to be hopefully enjoyed. Thank you. more…

All Brandon Thorne poems | Brandon Thorne Books

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Discuss the poem Never with the community...

3 Comments
  • amandak.45897
    amandak.45897
    Awake yet not alive. Like we are the real walking dead. Love this poem
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • Nebula7693
    Nebula7693
    Insomnia. I hate it when that happens to me. Exacerbated by depression, it can feel as if Nature were conspiring against you. Your depiction of this experience is powerful until the last stanza. It isn't a bad stanza but its poignancy is not as strong as the previous ones. It is almost as if you rushed that stanza just to finish the poem. Overall, though, I thought it was very well written. 
    LikeReply 11 month ago
    • thornebelee
      thornebelee
      Thank you so much! I’ve just started putting my work out there. The environment in which I’m writing in lately isn’t my preferred one. I have a lot of distractions, outside influences and etc. to overcome. I think that it may be hampering me a bit when I have things pressing in on me while still trying to be productive. Shame on me :p 
      LikeReply1 month ago
    • thornebelee
      thornebelee
      no sarcasm intended my friend
      LikeReply1 month ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, the emotions and imagery in this 'Never' poem are incredibly powerful and vivid. The way you describe the struggle with sleeplessness and the inner turmoil is very impactful. Your use of metaphor and vivid descriptions really bring the reader into the speaker's experience.

    One improvement suggestion could be to explore the theme of insomnia and restlessness even further. Maybe delve into the root cause of the sleepless nights or explore the impact it has on the speaker's daily life in more detail. Additionally, playing with the structure of the poem, such as varying stanza lengths or incorporating different rhythm patterns, could add another layer of depth and complexity to your already compelling piece.

    Overall, this poem is a raw and honest portrayal of the torment of sleeplessness, and with a few tweaks, it could truly shine even brighter. Keep up the great work! Your talent for conveying intense emotions is truly impressive.     
    LikeReply 11 month ago
    • thornebelee
      thornebelee
      Thank you so much! I appreciate your criticism greatly. :)
      LikeReply1 month ago

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"Never" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/183561/never>.

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