Rate:5.0 / 1 vote

As I lay by your side.

A J C 1958 (Swansea, MA)

Free verse
As I lay by your side.

As I lay here, they shut my eyes. But I can see you; I'm right by your side. I do not sleep; I'm awake. For heaven's sake, you whisper in my ears the things I want to hear. I'm still in love with you, my dear. I can't cry; I have no more tears. I can't move, but yet here I stand. Could you hold my hand? Why do you weep when I'm not asleep? I won't let you go. Tomorrow, you will know. You can't go where I must go. So be happy for me, and our love will still grow. Now you know.

About this poem

This poems about death and sorrow. But there's always a tomorrow.

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Written on February 27, 2024

Submitted by alanswansea18 on February 27, 2024

Modified by alanswansea18 on February 27, 2024

36 sec read
324

Quick analysis:

Scheme X X
Characters 506
Words 113
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 1, 1
Full analysis for As I lay by your side. »

A J C

The country boy. more…

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2 Comments
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Feedback:
    This poem is beautifully written and evokes powerful emotions. The imagery and sentiment are touching and resonate with the reader. The theme of undying love and connection is well-captured through the words you have chosen.

    Improvement suggestions:
    - Consider adding more descriptive language to further enhance the imagery in the poem. This can help to create a more vivid and immersive experience for the reader.
    - Work on refining the flow of the poem by experimenting with the arrangement of words and phrases. This can help to create a more cohesive and smooth reading experience.
    - Perhaps explore different poetic devices, such as metaphors or symbolism, to add layers of depth and complexity to the poem.

    Overall, your poem is heartfelt and moving. Keep up the great work and continue to explore different ways to express your emotions through your writing.     
    LikeReply2 months ago
  • alanswansea18
    alanswansea18
    This phone's about Love and death and tomorrow.
    LikeReply2 months ago

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"As I lay by your side." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/181560/as-i-lay-by-your-side.>.

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