ODE TO TODDLERS

Isn't it crazy when the small people arrive
How much it affects and changes you?
Like suddenly you feel its your birthday
When they for once, have a clean and tidy poo?
Come on, how happy can they make you feel
When they scoff all the food you give them to eat?
And as for when you manage to calm a tantrum?
Don't you feel theres nothing you can't defeat
I was honestly punching the air once guys
It was almost like I'd got a parenting degree
And only because, and only once,
He'd happily eaten a bit of broccoli
Honestly though? It truly fills my heart with joy
Watching my boy grow, develop and thrive
I have to pat myself on the back though
Before Harry? couldn't keep a plant alive!
As for going out with your tot in public?
Let's face it, always a bit hit and miss
One minute charming the pants off everyone
Or embarrassing you with THE most epic hissy fit
As for when they find a favourite food?
You think fantastic, immediately stock up on it
Yet when you go to feed them it next day?
It's like you're literally feeding them shit
Oh bless them look they're so nervous
To go down some steps by themselves
But you literally turn away for a second?
Its like their competing in the commonwealth
Without your aid apparently eh?
They can't do this, they can't do that
But they can achieve all sorts of things
If you ever dare turn your back
Once they learn, are safe with something
You know another issue is bound to arrive
Kids will always be keeping us on our toes
We still adore the little cu...cuties though right guys?
So contrary at times our little cherubs eh?
I want it! I don't! Turn it off! Turn it on!
Like no matter what you try to do for them
Give up you'll always get it fucking wrong
You bother to set up all the arts and crafts They fucking show no interest at all
You dare to nip for a wee? come back
Their scribbling on the furniture & walls
i wouldn't mind but seriously?i've seen elephants
Do a better job with paint than that
But I'm sure he'll find his talent one day
My silly frustrating little tw...lad