Numb

To be numb is to be one with the feeling of nothingness

To empty oneself out and to adjoin your inner being to the great empty abyss

Oh how I crave for the numbness

Oh how I crave to never feel again

To never experience the highs of happiness, only to be let down by the pain of sorrow

Numb

I crave to be numb

I crave to feel nothing

Oh how I desire to not exist emotionally yet again

Yet in this numbness comes the desire for death

The desire to end it all and never experience the pains of life again

So in the end, is it really numbness that I seek

Or is it relief from this current chaotic situation that consumes my very being both day and night.

I think that's it. It isn't numbness at all that I crave

It is peace

Peace to experience life as it happens without being so emotionally invested

The desire to grow in the pain and dance in the rain of my sorrowful tears

Numb is not what I desire, it is the mirage that threatens my very being

It is the thing that wants to destroy my relationships and deter me from my path.

Never again will I want to feel numb.

Now I shall dance in this valley and celebrate the high places more.

Numbness leads to nothing because it is nothing.

I choose to want to be something, feel something, experience life as it comes.

To soar on the winds of demise and step on the boulders that threaten to crush me.

Mighty warrior am I.

 One who's desire to feel nothing is hushed by the grateful rendition of the symphony that plays within my inner being.

To dance, to sing, to celebrate. No longer numb. Celebrating the liberty of emotion.

Celebrating the human I am with flaws both great and small.

Rising rising rising rising above that that once crushed me like a feeble ant.

Numb.

Numb.

I no longer desire the absence from my life experiences, known as the demon of NUMB.