Broken or not?

I have a best friend,
The one who is my strength,
The cheering when your winning,
And strength upon my face.

It lives inside my head

The bigger enemy clouds my best friend,
Creates the shadowy figures in the room,
Haunts the car with ghouls,
Enchants the words coming from my mouth.

It lives inside my head.

In the moments where it could go either way,
I’m the child being pulled by separating parent,
I’m the girl who’s forgetting what to say,
I’m the adult apologising when I know it’s not my fault.

It’s a battle inside my head.

I wait.
Crippled and frozen.
I feel every emotion.
I see the colours, sounds and scenes swirl.

I’m lost inside my head.

My eyes open and I wait.
Seeing which figure is victorious.
What comes next?
When is it what I want that plays inside my head?