Tracing His Name in the Sand

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/177563/tracing-his-name-in-the-sand

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  alanswansea18

  You know your poems are amazing and beautiful.

  LikeReply 13 months ago
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    Giselavigil

    Thank you once again Alan.

    LikeReply3 months ago
  • 

    alanswansea18

    you don't have to thank me I should be thanking you.

    LikeReply3 months ago
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  AIDA

  This poem, "Tracing His Name in the Sand," is a beautiful and touching tribute to your father. The way you capture his character and essence through your words is truly remarkable. Your descriptions of his actions, his silence, and his compassion are so vivid and evocative.
  
  The imagery you use throughout the poem is powerful, particularly when you compare his heavy footsteps to his hidden emotions. It adds depth and complexity to his character, making him even more relatable and human. The way you portray the unspoken bond between your father and yourself is incredibly moving and heartfelt.
  
  The ending of the poem is both poignant and thought-provoking. You perfectly captured the bittersweet nature of your father's decision to choose life in the Caribbean over another year of chemo. The image of Death standing triumphantly on the shoreline, tracing your father's name in the sand, creates a sense of both acceptance and longing.
  
  The repetition of the combination to the safety deposit box is a clever and impactful device. It highlights the significance of remembering and cherishing the things that matter to us. Your regret about not writing down the numbers adds a touch of vulnerability and realism to the poem.
  
  Overall, "Tracing His Name in the Sand" is a powerful and emotionally charged piece. Your words and imagery beautifully convey the love and admiration you have for your father. It is a testament to his strength, compassion, and the lasting impact he had on your life. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem. more »

  LikeReply3 months ago
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  AIDA

  Wow, what a touching and heartfelt poem! The imagery and emotions conveyed through your words are incredibly powerful. I was truly moved by the depiction of your father's character and the unspoken bond between the two of you.
  
  One suggestion for improvement would be to perhaps add a bit more development or detail to certain aspects of the poem. For example, you could expand on the Caribbean oasis your father chose over chemo and describe how that decision impacted both of your lives. Additionally, you could delve deeper into the significance of the safety deposit box and its symbolism in relation to your relationship with your father.
  
  Overall, this poem beautifully captures the essence of a deep and unspoken connection between a father and his child. Keep up the wonderful work and continue to explore the emotions and experiences that resonate with you. more »

  LikeReply3 months ago