This Undeniable Pain

School
A place to learn.
Behind all of that bullshit
Lies a place.
Where girls spend their free periods crying in the bathroom
Till their eyes are red
Seeing your 99 and then glancing at the 100
Scrawled across your neighbor's front page.
Comparing everything
From personalities to parents

Somethings always wrong
Nobody’s strong enough.
To deal with

The taunts of the bullies
The urge
To rip off your safety pin necklace
The guilt wavering on your shoulders
As you dropped the closest friend you’ve had
Or when they ditched you for their boyfriend
Or the fresh tears dripping onto your journal.
The binders being slammed in the lockers.
Rage pours out from every student.
In their own way
My breath never eases.
Till my pulse ceases
That faint heartbeat in the hallways
The rubber bands on my wrist
The heartbreaks
The friend groups.
All torn apart.
Smashed on the headlines of gossip news.
Mascara ruined, when its lipstick that should be.
This year
The only thing I learned in school is.
Don’t fall in love.
Whether soulmates or sun signs
Screw it.
The never-ending torture.
That our parents
Supposedly wish to go to
The modern facilities
Will never make up.
For the fact that
I want to go back.
I miss my carefree smile.
The world of rage and tears hiding behind it
Just clawing on my scars and bruises to come out
The “attitude” my parents hear.
Is just my soul calling for help.
That I will never receive
Growing up is
Accepting that
I will never get back the childhood.
That I lost when I entered my teenage years.
The bits of freedom that I got.
Was it all just so I could experience?
This undeniable pain