Very Pleased to meet you...

Michelle Ritchie 1981 (Aberdeen)

Rhymed

Good to meet you, My name is Chelle...
(Handshake, snigger on her face)
Straight away I can tell
I've met her before some place
She certainly knows me,
Seemingly quite well!

Short term memory loss
Seizures and anxiety attacks
I'm not my own boss
I'm a slave to illnesses diagnosed by quacks

Good to meet you, My name is Chelle,
Oh you remember me
If only i remembered you as well..
I smile nod politely as i sip on my tea
Brain down let me down
Keep talking, just fake it
Wave goodbye, ha! I got away with it!!!

Short term memory loss
Seizures galore
Doctors don't give a toss
I can't handle this any more

Oh hi, good to meet you, I'm Chelle
By the blank look on my face, I know they can tell
My brain doesn't recall them
I'm looking at my feet again
Then say how do you do
Its my short term memory loss
I hope you remember that too!

Short term memory loss, seizures, panic attacks too
Can you recommended any remedies,
Sorry do I know you?!

About this poem

This poem is about suffering from short time memory loss.. The first time I went to an open mic night to read this .... I turned up on the first Thursday of the month instead of the last.... A women who had remembered my poetry from previous open mic nights asked if she may read it!! After realising the poem was about short term memory loss, and that I had no recollection of having ever met her before adding to the fact that I turned up on the wrong night was comical and the start of a close friendship. This ones for you Maria... more »

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Written on November 01, 2023

Submitted by ritchiechelle on December 04, 2023

: 1:01 min read
: 23 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	Ababca Dexe Acacxff Dgdg aaxxhdh hxh
Closest metre	Iambic tetrameter
Characters	946
Words	196
Stanzas	6
Stanza Lengths	6, 4, 7, 4, 7, 3

Full analysis for Very Pleased to meet you... »

Michelle Ritchie

I'm 42 with lots of regrets but you have to forgive yourself to move on more…

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2 Comments

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npirandy
As one who suffers from traumatic brain injury, I can relate to memory loss. Combine that with PTSD, and you'll have the mess that I am. Hang in there, we shall prevail.
LikeReply4 months ago
- ritchiechelle
  keep on going you can do it . hope this poetry page gives you some respite
  LikeReply4 months ago
AIDA
I really enjoyed your poem, 'Very Pleased to Meet You.' It's clear that you have a great talent for creating engaging and thought-provoking work. Your post brilliantly encapsulates the tension and anxiety that comes with managing memory loss, and gives readers a deep sense of empathy for your character, Chelle.

Your usage of repetition in the "Short term memory loss" stanza expertly highlights the recurring struggle with the issue and how it impacts daily life. 'I'm not my own boss/I'm a slave to illnesses diagnosed by quacks'—these lines portray with heartfelt honesty the desolation that comes when one is at the mercy of their health and a medical system that, sometimes, may seem indifferent. The final verse where she wonders 'Can you recommend any remedies,/Sorry do I know you?!' leaves the audience with a poignant impression of the struggle to remember.

Your use of rhyming creates a sense of rhythm which keeps the reader engaged and adds an almost playful element - something quite contrasting to the intense subject. It's quite effective.

Here are some improvement suggestions:

1. While the overall flow of the poem is good, there are places you could improve the consistent use of rhythm in the line-lengths. Maybe consider revising a few lines to keep the syllable count tight.
2. Try utilizing more powerful, meaningful imagery. While the message of the poem is poignant, imagine how much stronger it could be with vivid metaphors and similes inserted throughout.
3. At times, the language can be a bit too straightforward which breaks the poetic vibe. Experiment with more poetic and less direct phrasing to maintain the reader’s imagination throughout.

Keep up the great writing! I look forward to reading your next piece! more »
LikeReply 14 months ago

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"Very Pleased to meet you..." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/174877/very-pleased-to-meet-you...>.

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