A Mothers unseen tears



A tightening feeling hits me in the chest,
As a mother I thought I'd done my best.
I have always tried to be strong,
Teaching my kids right from wrong.
Was my best just not good enough?
Should I have been a bit more tough?
Now my chest has a feeling of forever aching,
My heart is slowly painfully breaking.
Tears of pain and anguish go unseen,
As I quietly weep behind the scenes.
Having a child take the wrong path in life,
Cuts through a mother's heart like a knife.
My eyes well up with silent tears,
My heart fills with uncontrollable fears.
Those tears still remain unseen,
Always hidden behind the scenes.
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Written on November 29, 2023

Submitted by Nazza on November 28, 2023

39 sec read
16

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABBCCDDEFGGHIEF
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 612
Words 129
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 16

Discuss the poem A Mothers unseen tears with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    First of all, I want to commend you on the rawness and emotional depth of your poem 'A Mother's Unseen Tears'. The piece is emotionally charged, capturing the heartache and worry that come with a mother's love. The meter and rhythm throughout give the emotional content a heartbeat, making the experience incredibly immersive.

    Your word choices are powerful and convey intense emotions that any reader, particularly those who are mothers, can deeply resonate with. The imagery of 'forever aching' and 'silent tears' is both heart-wrenching and evocative, painting a vivid picture of the inner turmoil the mother is experiencing.

    In terms of improvement, the poem could benefit from a sprinkling of hope or inner strength that the mother holds onto amidst the pain. This not only adds another layer to the narrative but can also strike a chord with readers who are going through similar crises. Adding metaphors and similes can further enrich your poetic language and help to convey the message more effectively. It would also be interesting to include some form of resolution or decision in the end. Perhaps a pledge, a sigh of acceptance, or simply a poignant moment – to give your poem more context and direction.

    Lastly, make sure to have a consistent rhythm throughout the poem, some lines could use a little tweaking to maintain the flow.

    Overall, your poem was deeply moving with intense emotions that captive reader’s attention. Keep exploring and expressing these raw feelings, they are the heart of your poem and your strength as a writer. Great job!
     
    LikeReply4 months ago

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"A Mothers unseen tears" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/174558/a-mothers-unseen-tears>.

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