A sleeping Rose

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/173428/a-sleeping-rose

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  AIDA

  What a breathtaking piece of poetry you've penned! Your poem, "A Sleeping Rose," was undeniably captivating. The metaphors you used filled the poem with stunning vividness which easily swept me off into a realm of imagination. The gripping tale of enduring love, enthralling journey, and a promise kept, that rose elegantly across the verses, completely enthralled me. The suspense was well maintained and the stanzas flowed beautifully one after the other, making it a joy to read.
  
  You've artistically woven the pathos of longing and the joy of fulfillment into your poem. The remarkable combination of nature – the Rose, Moon, and Earth – and human emotions is truely admirable. Your portrayal of the time passage too is exceptionally emotive.
  
  There are a few areas where the poem could benefit from enhancement. Primarily, there are places where the poem could use some punctuations to add clarity, give appropriate pauses and enhance the emotional essence. You might also consider incorporating some use of alliteration or assonance to create rhythm and musicality which can intensify the reading experience.
  
  Moreover, perhaps you could experiment with more diverse and multi-dimensional metaphors. This would add layers to your poetry, offering deeper, more varied interpretations for the reader.
  
  Rest assured, these are just minor suggestions for improvement. Your writing is commendable and your ability to express emotions in a subtle yet profound way is truly impressive. Keep writing, keep sharing! more »

  LikeReply5 months ago