Inner turmoil

Invitation accepted, attendance followed,
Right on time,  as usual,
It's getting late, time to go home,
He said hold on, I'm not done,
So I sat back down, thought nothing of it,
Finally the night was coming to an end,
He walked me to my door,
I said thank you and good night,  
As I enter my door, he followed me in,
I tried to push him back out my door,
I scream and I fought, nothing worked,
No one heard me over the noise around,  
Fans, ac, traffic, dogs and more,
I begged and pleaded please no more,  
I scratched,  bitten, punched, kicked,  
Tried to grab everything I could,
Finally we fell to the ground,
I kept fighting on my back,
Until my underwear came off, suddenly
My mind went blank, it was hard to breathe,  I tried to keep fighting but I couldn't move at all, tears began to fall,  darkness filled the air, as he entered my sacred place, where no one has ever gone,  I lay ever so silent, defeated and broken,  laying on the floor, my body no longer responded the way that it should, this warmth I'm feeling, my body wants more,  my body tenses a little more, a feeling of pleasure engulfs me still, horrified but I cannot stop it, I feel dirty, scared and still my body accepts this, have I lost my mind,  is this really happening, as he comes to a stop, my mind begins to race, thoughts flood my mind, how could you enjoy it,  does it mean you wanted it, moments past by and he gets up, gets dressed and leaves as if nothing happened at all, as I lay there confused, hurt and scared, finally finding the strength to lock my door. I jumped in my shower and began to cry, I scrubbed and scrubbed,  till my skin began to break,  I felt the stinging but did not care,  the world is spinning, next thing I knew,  
I wake in the hospital, still wet and alone, I spoke my truth but no one believed me,  
For you cannot enjoy something that's taken without consent,  then again he did and my body responded despite everything,  justice I seek not answered by the law,  as I stand there above his grave,  if only it were not only just a dream. My pain is real so why can't the dream come true to.