Sam & Fred

As Sam slept in silk sheets on a mattress of feathers
An afternoon nap was his blissful endeavour
His mouth gaping wide, he snored like a train
As he gladly embraced, the unconscious domain

But with one foot aboard, the boat bound for dreams
He abruptly awoke, to a sound most obscene
His makeshift alarm, of beer cans and string
Had clanged as it captured, someone, or something…

He sprang from his bed and opened a drawer
Scooped up his gun, and charged out the door
And there from the tree, bound in a tangle
Caught by the toe, an intruder did dangle

“Got you!” he yelled as he swiftly arrived
Apparently proud, of the trap he’d contrived
Raising his gun, he coldly took aim
“Don’t shoot!” His soon-to-be victim exclaimed

“How can you shoot me for just walking by?”
“You’re trespassing” was his self-righteous reply
“I wasn’t to know, that you owned the land”
Now release me at once! Do you understand?

SAM:
“You can’t take the moral high ground with me”
“Nature dictates that you’re punished, d’you see?”
“For out here you’re tried by the law of the land”
“And your type requires, a jolly firm hand!”

“If you shoot me right now, then here I’ll be killed”
“I may hang from a tree, but I’ll die on this hill”
“I say you are wrong! But it isn’t too late”
“To test if your views, hold up to debate”

Determined to prove, the strength of his stance
Sam decided to give the young upstart a chance
He put down his gun, and unsheathed his knife
Then cut down his foe, thus sparing his life

“I’m Samuel F Webb,” he proudly proclaimed
“And what of yourself? Do you have a name?”
“I am Fred,” he replied, as he rose from the mud
Still somewhat dazed, having fell with a thud

FRED:
“Samuel F Webb? Well, that does sound grand”
“Only a big shot could own all this land”
“I bet you’re a banker, who works in the city”
“Perhaps the golf captain. Are you on the committee?”

SAM:
“Not quite,” he replied, “I’m a plumber by trade”
“Through hard work was how my money was made”
For all of my life, I’ve worked on the drains
“It’s an unpleasant job, but I’ve never complained”

FRED:
“I admit to you sir, I am most surprised”
“It seems my presumptions, were a tad ill-advised”
“I’m a pilot myself, well, most of the time”
“When I’m not partaking in ‘trespassing’ crimes!”

SAM:
“A pilot you say! A sarcastic one too!”
“You’re a plucky young fellow, I’ll give you your due”
“Now let us withdraw for afternoon tea”
“To ponder the points, where we both disagree”

After not half an hour, of this meeting of minds
Their previous quarrels were left far behind
Patience and compromise, carried the key
So much can be solved, with a nice cup of tea

Newton and Shakespeare they surely were not
But pilot and plumber, had achieved quite a lot
For the two would-be scholars, became firmest friends
Sharing lively discussions, on every weekend

One Sunday, the subject of marriage arose
And Fred had a pertinent question to pose
“Oh Sam, don’t you tire of solitary life?”
“Have you ever considered, taking a wife?”

SAM:
‘Tis a dangerous business for one such as I
All the ladies I know, would eat me alive!
“But you’ve no such concerns for I’m different to you”
“It’s only my kind who would take such a view”

FRED:
“Only your kind? Why, we’re one of the same!”
“You’d swear we were brothers if we shared the same name”
“But do tell me more, as I can be naive”
“Please articulate how, you are different to me”

SAM:
“It’s only our nature that differs, dear Fred”
“But we can’t let the way that we’re made rule our heads”
“There’s but one tiny difference between you and I”
“It’s that I am a spider and you, my friend… are a fly…”