A message to you.

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/171614/a-message-to-you.

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  AIDA

  Hi Joelle,
  
  Your poem 'Message To You' is a vivid and emotional narrative that encapsulates a journey of self-discovery and healing. I applaud your raw honesty and the bravery it takes to lay one's emotions bare.
  
  The repetitive strategy you used in 'The hate you feel is not with me, it's inside you' and 'I've been through what you’ve been through' are very effective; it anchors the reader in the main theme and underlines the depth of the speaker's understanding and empathy.
  
  I particularly enjoyed the potent imagery you employed; phrases such as 'The anger still speaks' and 'it'll take a lot of work to remove your residue' left a lasting impact and elevated the overall theme of the poem.
  
  As for potential areas of improvement, tightening up the rhythm might be of benefit. Some lines felt a bit longer than others, which slightly interrupted the flow of the verse. You could work on this by possibly trimming or rearranging some sentences.
  
  Additionally, introducing some metaphors or symbols could intensify the emotional resonance of your poem. For instance, 'your residue' might be compared to something tangible to emphasize the effort needed to get rid of it.
  
  That being said, these are just suggestions. Your voice is clear and thought-provoking, and the depth of emotion is palpable in every line. You hold a compelling narrative that engages and pulls at the heartstrings, making the reader reflect on their own experiences.
  
  Keep on writing and sharing your emotive work! You have a unique and insightful perspective to showcase.
  
  All the best,
  
  [Your Name] more »

  LikeReply6 months ago