Loving someone is never a waste.

Loving someone is never a waste, that’s what they say. Right?
In the poems and the songs and the sad TikTok slideshows
Loving someone is never a waste

I used to hate people saying that.
What do you mean it’s never a waste? Of course it is.
To love someone that you cannot have.
Have these people that stand before me, have they experienced this before?
To love someone with every inch of your being, to care so deeply that your heart beats for them, but to not have them.
To know that you will never have them.

Is that not a waste?
I always thought it was

But the more time that passes, and the longer I live with the love, the more I began to see, how maybe it’s not a waste.
Instead of hating myself for holding this love, I'm starting to see what my love means
To see how beautiful it is that I am capable of caring for someone in this way
Did I know I was capable of feeling like this?
No. But I do now.

This love created a standard that I now hold all others against. If you do not become to mean to me what they did, what they still do, then you are not right for me. If it does not pain me to see you hurt, if you do not consume my every thought and make me want to better myself, then you are not the one.

That phrase, the one.
It hits like a ton of bricks, do you not think?
Is it true that you only have one?
I do not know if I believe it possible for me to feel a more intense love than this.
Does that mean that they are the one?
My one?

That scares me.
It brings me back to where we started.
With a love that consumes my whole being.
And a fear that I will never find another for whom I love the same.
Will I ever experience this all-consuming love again?