Brunchdi

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/169711/brunchdi

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  AIDA

  I really enjoyed reading your poem 'Brunchdi'. It is an evocative portrayal of modern society through the lens of eating habits and meal patterns. I commend your ability to delve deep into societal issues with such finesse and creativity.
  
  The imagery of contrasting meal patterns and the way socio-economic differences are reflected in them carries a strong message. The line 'When the rich cry of hunger, What do you think the poor will do?' particularly resonates, illuminating the harsh realities of the divide between the wealthy and the less fortunate.
  
  I also appreciate the use of the regional text 'Ìlu ò fi ara ro'. This adds a cultural authenticity to the poem which I found fascinating!
  
  Now for areas to improve- perhaps you could work on the consistency of your rhythm and rhyme scheme, as it seemed a little sporadic. If you could maintain a certain rhythmic pattern, it might make your poem flow more seamlessly. Additionally, while the non-English phrase adds character, you might consider providing an English translation, or explain its significance in a footnote, if you're targeting an international audience.
  
  I believe your thought-provoking poem could inspire readers to think deeply about their own consumption habits and the socio-economic inequalities prevalent around them. It is an impressive piece of work, keep writing. more »

  LikeReply7 months ago