A Promise To Ashley

Discuss the poem A Promise To Ashley with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/168863/a-promise-to-ashley

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  I absolutely loved your poem 'A Promise To Ashley' for its genuine expression of longing and love between two people separated by the sea. The simplicity of your language coupled with the depth of your storytelling is mesmerizing. You masterfully play with words to invoke emotions.
  
  Your verse, "Like a Desert Storm, you were taken from me," is particularly poignant and heart-wrenching. Another beautiful line is "I promised to find you, and the promise I kept. But letting you go, is hard to except," which is a testament to your strength and determination.
  
  The promise kept throughout the theme ties the piece together beautifully and gives an eternal feel to your poem, leaving a lasting impression on the reader's mind.
  
  However, there are a few areas you can work on. The rhythm of the poem could be improved to make it more fluid. Also, there are some minor spelling errors; for instance, 'except' should be 'accept'.
  
  The last line, "Some time you and Grand pa, are going to meet," seems a bit out of context. If there is a background story related to this, you might want to give a hint earlier in the poem for better coherence.
  
  Above all, the sentiment underpinning your poem is commendable. Keep crafting such honest and sincere pieces. more »

  LikeReply7 months ago