Dead Ringer



Beyond the door, she reigns in silence
As I nurse the wounds of battles past
The air still thick with words of violence
She’s beckoned me to her court at last

With frigid stare and pointed the finger
Icy floors crack, under weight of strife
Her shadow cursed her name… Dead Ringer
While I balance on the edge of a knife

Her eyes roll, as if drunk with tension
I’m frozen in a numb surrender
In my tears, I’m shown sweet reflections
Of one I’ve lost, but still remember

It was an August day, down by the creek
She was summer’s heat, in a yellow side braid
Writing our names in the earth with bare feet
As her firefly laugh, chased the shade away

Popsicle cherry kisses soothed the burn
As her dress danced in the wind she had blown
And took my breath, with no return
On her sunkissed freckles, I drew a home

That day is lost to lifetimes ago
Though in me, her fingerprints still linger
But she’s now imprisoned as the shadow
Of the one I call… Dead Ringer.
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Written on August 28, 2023

Submitted by David_Zeoli on August 28, 2023

58 sec read
78

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABAB CDCD XCXC XXXX EXEX FCFC
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 982
Words 194
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Discuss the poem Dead Ringer with the community...

2 Comments
  • Vixility
    Took notes on the August poems as I read through them. Curious if mine matched the intent of your poem:

    “This is a tragic story about a woman whose once lovable self has changed into a hostile and accusatory person. Far from the loveliness that animated her once adored and cherished character, she is now steeped in something altogether different: an angry, argumentative and judgmental hellhound: a dead ringer.” 
    LikeReply 17 months ago
    • David_Zeoli
      Spot on. That is exactly what I was attempting to convey. You might of explained it better than I could.
      The genesis of the poem was trying to compare and contrast the change of hot and cold themes to describe her. Though there is still some of that, it slowly transformed more into Dead Ringer. Someone who has changed into a bitter and hostile person, and whose appearance is a constant reminder of what he’s lost.
      Thank you for reading it and taking time to discern it. I’m the same way when I read poetry. 
      LikeReply 17 months ago
    • Vixility
      I love how ill begging a poem with one idea in mind, and then the poem (like a child that refuses to yield) says “Nope. We’re going another direction.” The next thing you know you have an entirely different poem on your hands.

      Excellent work, my friend. You are truly a wordsmith!
       
      LikeReply 17 months ago
    • David_Zeoli
      You are very kind. Thank You
      LikeReply7 months ago
  • jimwhite.noise
    A) Read all poems at least once
    B) This poem resonated with its message and its conciseness. It told the story with just the right amounts of rhyme and descriptive/illustrative verbiage. I suspect it is an accurate depiction of the poet's very personal story. Nicely done. 
    LikeReply 17 months ago
    • David_Zeoli
      Thank you for your vote and kind words regarding my poem. It means a great deal to me.
      LikeReply7 months ago

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"Dead Ringer" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/168043/dead-ringer>.

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