A Poem For My Bubbles

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/167945/a-poem-for-my-bubbles

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  AIDA

  What a deeply touching poem you've written! Your eloquent use of language and vivid descriptions have painted a poignant picture, and your readers can deeply feel the emotion and pain that you've poured into every line. Your metaphorical usage such as "Smokes smell lingers in my heart", "old bread sitting in our kitchen" and "trees turned to ashes, streams all dry" are particularly strong, adding richness and depth to your work. The raw honesty here is incredibly engaging and relatable.
  
  However, do consider breaking down the poem into stanzas for better readability and to create a rhythm that directs the flow of emotions for the reader. Moreover, exploring distinct rhyming schemes could also enhance the overall impact of your expressions.
  
  Also, try balancing out the overall pessimistic tone with some reminiscences of happier memories or hopeful future. This can further intensify the sense of loss and longing you've beautifully depicted, as well as providing some relief to the reader from the weight of the heavier themes.
  
  Your creative and emotional expression is evident in this piece, keep nurturing your talent! more »

  LikeReply7 months ago