Dealing with your death

I thought I would get stronger as the days go by, but instead I feel like it's hurting me more and more and I can't stop these tears from pouring from my eyes, I still don't understand why you left me here all alone, I sit in my room night after night staring at your pictures I have saved on my phone, you left without warning not even a goodbye, when they told me you were gone I thought it was a lie, now I'm left here questioning the reason why? Why did you leave me? Why Did You Have To Die? You are my only sister you are all that I had left, now my mind and my heart are at War as I try to deal with your death, I wasn't always nice to you and that I will always regret, but if you can hear me from Heaven I want you to know I really am sorry and I will always love you till my dying breath, so until we meet again here I will be hoping wishing and praying I will one day get to see you in my dreams.