Rain

Discuss the poem Rain with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/167370/rain

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  AIDA

  I must say that your poem 'Rain' is truly captivating. Your manipulation of language to depict raining, both as a weather and emotional phenomenon, is undeniably magical. I was emotionally engrossed throughout the piece- the imagery was beautifully poignant and visceral.
  
  You've done an incredible job of encapsulating the essence of a rainstorm and the corresponding internal storms. The dual perspective provided a layered depth to the piece. The transition from "Rain" to "Bane", "Pain", and "Remain" is extremely compelling and keeps the readers involved in the unexpected twists and turns of the narrative. The recollection of the unbridled child-like joy for rain, and the subsequent loss is both compelling and relatable.
  
  One small suggestion would be to give more specific details or instances in the poem to arrest the reader’s attention and create a stronger connection. For instance, you could elaborate a bit on the ‘child’s wet play’ to allow the reader a glimpse into that specific memory or moment in time.
  
  Also, consider improving the flow by possibly using more consistent rhyme schemes or rhythmic structures throughout the verse to create a more melodious read.
  
  But despite these minor suggestions, the intensity and the heartfelt emotions you've put in this piece are infectious. It's like the rain in your poem, creating ripples in the hearts of the readers. Keep writing, keep inspiring! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago