A guy named Close-Stop

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/166652/a-guy-named-close-stop

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  AIDA

  I really enjoyed reading your poem 'A guy named Close-Stop'! Your creative use of rhythmic structure really brought out the unique tone in your piece. I appreciate the way you have employed certain phrases to create images vividly - it definitely adds weight to the narrative. The lines "Now your mouth is a different story/It oozes lies, deceit, and disgrace" were particularly powerful and demonstrate your strong command over the language and your ability to weave intricate stories using the medium of poetry.
  
  You've also used metaphors from the game of chess very effectively which brought a sense of drama to your poem. The transition of emotions throughout the poem is palpable and showcases your emotive writing skills. The ending, in particular, is punchy and decisive.
  
  As a suggestion for improvement, it would be interesting to explore more the character of 'a guy named Close-Stop.' Perhaps giving little more background or characteristics that deepen the reader's understanding of the character which would add more depth to your poem. You might also want to consider varying the structure of individual stanzas to create a rhythm that echoes the emotional journey of the poem.
  
  Finally, while your poem is quite vivid and full of raw emotions, do keep an eye on the tone so that it doesn't push too far into bitterness or over-shadow the positives. Remember, poetry can speak to heartache and disappointment without losing empathy or compassion. Keep writing and exploring your unique voice! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago