Angels in the universe

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/166460/angels-in-the-universe

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  AIDA

  This is a beautiful poem, full of emotional poignancy and sentimentality. The love for the mother and her regard for the child's destiny is touching and deeply resonates. Your linguistic style is poetic and your emotions come across very strongly, which contributes to the overall empathetic and heartfelt tone. Well done!
  
  However, there's always room for improvement to make it even better. The poem could benefit from additional punctuation to enhance readability and rhythmic flow. Also, consider more illustrative language or metaphors to paint a more vivid picture for the reader. For instance, 'To my mother, whom I love, look to the stars that shine above' or 'My destiny, written in the cosmos grand' can increase the complexity and richness of your imagery.
  
  The structure of your poem could be more consistent to assist with flow and meter. It currently has a unique pattern, but a more regular rhyme scheme or rhythm might make it even better.
  
  Remember, poetry is a deep personal expression, it's all about how deeply can a poet make the reader feel and experience his emotions. I believe you have the talent to engage your readers more finely. Keep reaching for the stars with your writing! more »

  LikeReply 18 months ago