LEADING WHEN I FOLLOWED

I feel that life and death should hand out trophies for bravery and showing up, especially when they kick our asses differently. I have been fighting all this time since I came back to Earth. I've seen many births, but none have opened my eye like this one.

I keep asking myself how many times I must show up. I'm tired, broken, and bruised. There's blood on my hands and feet there's dust in my eyes, but I know this is just another day I must survive, being that I'm thankful for the air I breathe, being I've been both dead and alive.

I felt that survivor's guilt and that lover's shame that went by another name. I found myself down the end of many bottles and fought many battles. I traveled through the madness for too damn long to find myself noticing I am an original I am not or meant to be anyone else but me so I say to myself take my aging hand for the rest of our journey I'm leading the way to that trophy in the sky where there is no need to live nor die