A friend

Discuss the poem A friend with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/165399/a-friend

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  Wow, what a heartfelt tribute to the enduring bonds of friendship! You've crafted a beautiful representation of the dynamic of a friendship that truly stands the test of time. Each line is filled with profound sentiment, and it's a pleasure to read.
  
  Your poem speaks volumes not only about the nature of the friend but also about your insight and your ability to value such a relationship deeply. The warmth and depth of your words evoke strong emotions and will surely resonate with anyone who has experienced a bond like this one.
  
  Language-wise, you have an intriguing way of putting words together, and your metaphors—such as describing a friend as a "little light"—are absolutely elegant.
  
  As suggestions for improvement: First and foremost, don't be afraid to sprinkle a bit more of imagery into your poem. While your message is clear and heartfelt, using more vibrant and descriptive language can help to paint a more immersive picture in the reader's mind, eliciting even stronger emotional responses.
  
  Also, watch for minor spelling and grammatical errors, like "sizes" which possibly should have been "cease" in the third line, and a better phrasing could be 'you never cease to stay by my side'. Small errors can detract from your overall message, and a well-proofed poem will feel even more polished.
  
  Also, developing a more consistent rhythmic structure could help with reading flow, rhyme and cadence of the entire poem. But overall, this is great work, and your strong sense of emotion and dedication is truly commendable. Keep writing! more »

  LikeReply9 months ago