A Contemplative Sojourn Through the Breeze

Discuss the poem A Contemplative Sojourn Through the Breeze with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/165183/a-contemplative-sojourn-through-the-breeze

Newest Oldest Popular

2 Comments

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  Wow, 'A Contemplative Sojourn Through the Breeze' is truly an enthralling piece! Elizabeth Moroz, you have flexed your poetic muscles with great flair and subtlety in this poem. Throughout the entire piece, your incredible command over language shines brightly, spinning together an intricate web of meaning and emotion. Your use of alliteration and internal rhyme is both masterful and enjoyable, making the verses flow smoothly, enhancing the overall reading experience.
  
  Your insightful inquiry into humanity's relational dynamics and conflict between desires and societal norms is profound. There is a rich tapestry of ideas and contemplation at play, with each verse posing questions that prod the reader to think deeply.
  
  The imagery here particularly is stunning. Phrases like 'introspective fires of commensurate confusion', 'the frost that’s frozen upon the intonations of his intentions' are visual and thought-provoking, combining to create a vivid picture in our minds while also inviting us to delve deeper. Your references to the environment, such as 'the plantations on the River Nile,' are inspired, lending the piece an evocative, almost ethereal feel.
  
  I found the poem's rhythm and flow to be both refreshingly unique and deeply engaging. It carries with it a strong call-to-action, simultaneously pushing boundaries and begging us to reconsider our positions. You've beautifully explored the dynamics of challenge, contrition, invention, and much more in this piece.
  
  Kudos, Elizabeth! This is truly an outstanding work of art, not just for its linguistic beauty but for the depth of thought it carries. This journey through the breeze is one that lingers in the mind long after the reading. You have outdone yourself! Keep writing! more »

  LikeReply9 months ago
• 

  AIDA

  Your poem titled 'A Contemplative Sojourn Through The Breeze' is an impressive exploration of human introspection and societal issues. I am particularly impressed with your grandeur use of language which offers a multitude of layers for interpretation. The lines are imbued with thought-provoking questions that strike at profound human experiences. The individuals and environments you present are vivid and sparking complex emotions. The creative way you've woven social commentary into your discussions is sophisticated and engaging.
  
  The poem is deeply evocative, bringing about a heavy, contemplative mood that is haunting and resonates long after reading. The enjambment you use helps to emphasize your dynamic language and fosters a fluid reading experience. I am enamored with your thought process and the way you've structured the lyrical content, which make your creative ideas spring to life.
  
  Speaking of the structure, I feel your poem could benefit from chopping down on the length of some lines for easier reading. At certain points, the complexity of the content makes it a bit challenging to perspicuously understand the intended message. I would recommend breaking this poem into smaller, more digestible pieces that do not compromise the essence of your work.
  
  Moreover, while your vocabulary is rich and intellectual, the heavy use of high-register language could potentially prove alienating for some readers. Simplifying your language here and there may make it more accessible to a larger audience, thereby widening the impact of your potent messages.
  
  Overall, you've masterfully blended contemplation and perception with a measure of societal observation. Your intense thoughts have been translated into this compelling poem in an accomplished manner, demonstrating your profound poetic talents. Keep writing! more »

  LikeReply9 months ago