Aromance

Honestly?

I still feel nauseous when I hear the word boyfriend
Panic sets in when i see the little hearts you send
Butterflies send bile up my throat
I am completely safe
But I am so incredibly scared

No one is forcing my hand
No one is telling me what to do
But I still feel walls closing around me
while you get a sweet, warm feeling

You've only ever been perfect
You've offered me all that I hoped for
So why do I feel like I'm being dragged into a cell
Like I'm going to be eaten alive

I sought after this
This is everything I wanted
So why does it feel so awful?

Why can't I love like everyone else?
Why must the thing I want most
sicken me beyond belief?

Loneliness feels like starvation
But togetherness is poisoned fruit