I no longer

I no longer want to strip myself down for you doing everything you want me to do like I was some two-dollar whore. I no longer want to feel this way, but you will always be my lover and know the sweetest of words to say

I no longer want to stand in front of you because there are those moments of weakness when you know me the best you put that goddamn knife in my hand and say, cut out those pieces. This is your test.

I no longer want to know you but old friend, you have been with me since childhood. Old friend, you are not me, yet you are why I have been misunderstood all these years.

I no longer want to walk into a room with heaviness in my chest and a pit in my stomach. I no longer want to wake up from a deep sleep with flashbacks of things meant to destroy me.

I look into the mirror of my soul and notice through all the teardrops of this pain, I have found myself coming up from the ashes with a smile on my face because I am stronger and know once in a while, I
 will still see myself visiting this place