You don’t know

You don’t know what it’s like to have to heal ur self
and still act like nothing wrong for two little ppl everyday
To cry in the shower and once you hear a little knock you have to stop
Act like everything’s ok
You don’t know
To get up everyday and have to smile when you really want to be under your covers crying
Or maybe eating ice cream with your friends like they do in a movie
But instead you have to get up cook dinner, do home work and give baths
You don’t know
So yes I may be a Dick
and I may accuse u of shit you of shit from pass trauma because I can’t control the triggers that resurface from a past that I didn’t attend to create
You don’t know
what it’s like I have to protect them from everything I can.
And hurting me is hurting them
and I refuse to let anyone do that
So when I feel something I speak on it
and it may not come out like I want it to
but it’s a defense mechanism that have been using to get me through this thing call life
And protect my babies from everything
That they dont know so that can still see a beautiful world and never have to face the pain of a broken mother.
To them life is easy and there’s no struggles
Because momma figured it out so they won’t have to
So when you see me understand
You just don’t know