Letter to My Big Brother

Ever since you graduated from earth, I've been trying to figure out the meaning of life.
Because nothing makes sense anymore.
My body is moving but I'm no longer sure how, everyday I just want to shut down.
I put on a brave face like you used to, and it worked for a day or two,
But when I finally got alone with my thoughts we decided that I'm not okay, and for some reason I don't feel like I have permission to not be okay when there are so many other people missing you.
Then I start missing you, for them because for me to love you the way I did and it to be possible someone may have loved you even more than me that's an excruciating pain that you can feel physically.
I couldn't wait for the day to tell you goodbye to just get it over with .... as if afterwards I could ever go back to normal.
My life is changed forever! I will never be the same.
There are movies and songs that will have new meanings to me, and memories that are far more valuable than they once were.
Because that's evidence that you were here.
You taught me so much in life, like this mean 4-piece punch ... and some other things I'm not at liberty to mention, but your transition has taught me that earth is just character building for the next level.
It also taught me what it truly means to stop and smell the roses.
It doesn't mean to take a walk and smell flowers although that wouldn't hurt.
It means to look in the faces of the people around you and pay attention to what they're telling you without them saying it, to listen when others speak so that you may actually hear them, bask in the moments as if it may be the last, to be selfless, and help others every chance you get but also not allow yourself to be used and abused, to enjoy the little moments, and appreciate where you are now while working towards where you want to be. Spend as much time as you can with the people you love.
To remove yourself from situations that no longer serve you but walk away in love. Show love to everyone even if they don't show it back.
Be patient, humble, and kind.
Be the person everyday that you want to be remembered as when you're gone.
Brother, You are all around us ... in the people that loved you, the water, the animals, the music, and in our hearts as long as we shall live, but we will not "mourn you until we join you" because I don't know about anyone else in this room but I don't want to be sad the rest of my life, however we will miss you everyday. We love you, thank you for 35 beautiful years.