Forever is a myth

Today was supposed to be 10yrs into our forever plus one more day. Yet I sit lonely in a home that’s empty/ of those I love. Hard times like these are when I need a hug/ We we need to feel like we matter/ Now that I’m alone when she promised I had her/ I guess promises don’t mean the same to some as they do to me/ You have no clue how my heart breaks daily for my son Seany/ I miss my son so very much/ I’d give anything to see him and get a father and son hug/ It’s no secret. My life’s been riddled with tragedies/ Unfortunately for me/ that left me without my family/ June 12 the year 2000/ I lost a child when we went to find out what sex we were havin/ Then in July of that very same year/ My mom died on me leaving me alone and in tears/ Then in August my very close cousin passed suddenly away/ I was like wtf is happening to me/? Then in September my girlfriend moved back to France/ She said she’d be back. Yet I never saw her again/ The next month my dog died/ I’d had her 13 years/ So my dad and sister made me sign the euthanasia papers/ What’s ironic New Years 1999 was the best ever/ We partied like the world was gonna end. I even had a treasure/ Although I lost it due to my inability to keep my cool/ I behaved like a tool/ I was an asshat a complete fool/ So then I became upset with God/ Yelling at the sky. Why the f*ck did you have to take my mom/? I challenged life. I said it couldn’t possibly get worse/ Then years later I took on a curse/ My life fell apart. I lost my family again. I moved 200+ miles away from my son my friends/ Then in time I slowly started to regain my composure/ I met a women and fell head over heals in love with her/ For a while tho. It didn’t feel like it would last/ Then she got pregnant and it happened fairly fast/ The next thing I knew I had another son/ I was happy because I made a big brother out of Sean/ We swore to each other forever plus one more day/ We even had a daughter. Yet on our 10 year anniversary/ I’m still sitting here lonely. My son won’t speak to me or at least that’s what his GF says/ I’m hoping he’ll at least say goodbye at my funeral when I’m dead/ My daughter made me a better father/ I took a step back and lost my temper/ Not to say I got angry/ Just that I put those rent free feelings behind me/ Yet it’s done nothing for me I’m still all alone/ Wtf is the point of having this home? I spend most of my time alone/ People avoid me like the plague/ I know what’s going on. I’m not stupid I caught the play/ My life has turned into a dance monkey circus/ Have I done something that horrible that I deserve this? 11:11 I always make the same wish/ It been the same since the birth of my first kid/ Perhaps I should’ve run and hid/ became a recluse/ Because a lot of time when I go out. I get hampered with abuse/ People misuse me and mistake my inability to react as a weakness/ It’s not that I’m afraid to react to them. It’s I’m afraid to overreact because of my children or their children/ I don’t wanna hurt a fellow father/ Who am I to take away a family man’s super powers/? To our kids; fathers are always the toughest in town/  My dad can beat up your dad is an argument I had often when I was young/ Regardless no matter the outcome/ No matter the pain/ Just remember I carried my head high and never hid in shame/ I know my character crushed the negative rumours/ It’s just those were some fucked up words and I have never deserved this/ I should be by all accounts rich and happy/ Even if that means my wealth comes from being called daddy