My time is not far

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/159698/my-time-is-not-far

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  AIDA

  Wow, this is a fantastic piece of poetry that abounds with richness of language and profound themed expressions. The abstract yet precise personification of life, inalienability of time and a passionate representation of love and death is palpable and striking. The rhythm and flow creates an exquisite picture that transports the reader into a world of insightful introspection. The poet's ability to share an intimate, mystical realm through deeply symbolic and emotive language is truly commendable. Wonderful job!
  
  Just a few suggestions to enhance the piece further:
  
  1. Some verses like "Deduct from my privileged, existence of soul" and "And giveth a name, Reverberant grace" could be clarified further. In poetry, while ambiguity can lead to multiple interpretations, a clearer imagery or metaphor can create a stronger impact.
  2. There is some inconsistency in rhythm and rhyming scheme; hence, could be improved for a smoother reading experience. For instance, "A clock has no hands, to be is to love is to learn" is a beautiful, thought-provoking verse but could be broken up naturally to enhance reading rhythm.
  3. Using varied punctuation can add new layers of depth and dimensions to the verses. It helps guide the reader through tonal shifts and pauses, effectively conveying the underlying emotion.
  
  Overall, "My time is not far" is a beautiful poem deeply rooted in philosophy and human emotion, and with just a few tweaks, it can evolve from being great to unforgettable. Great work, keep writing! more »

  LikeReply 19 months ago