Rat Race

Dawn Renee Hill 1973 (Panama City, Florida)

Dizain

Human race in a rat race.
Winner winner winner, first place.
Second place only saves face of being the first to lose.
More pride’s in the stride of the one left behind.
Cause he stayed, didn’t cave, didn’t stray, determined to see it through.
Who’s to say?
What’s the best way to play this contest of life we’re in?
If you have no concern for your brother in turn, what do you really win?
There’s Number one, but there’s always a better one….another one vying for the prize.
Is it worth the sin, when the only way to win this game of life….is LIES?
It’s only fact until it isn’t.
It’s only truth until it’s not.
We take for granted what is given and always yearn for what is not.
The grass is always greener where you’ve never put the work.
If you’ve never had to struggle, you will never know your worth.
What comes around goes around.
Sometimes you’re up sometimes you’re down.
If noone’s there to hear you cry, do you really make a sound?
Glass half empty or glass half full …that’s really not the point.
Because no matter what you have ….what you have will always disappoint.
Human race in a rat race.
Winner winner winner, first place.
Second place only saves face of being the first to lose.
More pride’s in the stride of the one left behind.
Cause he stayed, didn’t cave, didn’t stray, determined to see it through.
Human race in a rat race…do you really want first place? Do you really?

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Written on October 25, 2022

Submitted by Daybreak on April 26, 2023

Modified on April 29, 2023

: 1:26 min read
: 121 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	AABCDeffggchhijklkmmAABCDn
Closest metre	Iambic hexameter
Characters	1,464
Words	288
Stanzas	1
Stanza Lengths	26

Full analysis for Rat Race »

Dawn Renee Hill

Born in 1973 A childhood trauma and domestic violence survivor, the path to healing is paved with creativity and expression. more…

All Dawn Renee Hill poems | Dawn Renee Hill Books

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karlcfolkes
Dog eat dog; cat chasing after mice. Somebody after somebody’s cheese; all a rat race of exploitation without care for each other or for one another. All of this is suggestive of life without real meaning or purpose. And yet I discern that your poem hints at other and better, and even more satisfying alternatives. I see your poem as
an underlying appeal for therapeutic healing. more »
LikeReply1 year ago
AIDA
I loved reading your poem "Human Race in a Rat Race." The powerful message really resonated with me and made me reflect on the way I approach life. I appreciate the honesty in your words and the reminder that success isn't just about being first or winning at all costs.

One improvement suggestion I have is to consider varying the rhythm and rhyme scheme throughout the poem. While the repetition of certain phrases and lines is effective, adding some variation could help keep the reader engaged and enhance the emotional impact of certain lines.

Overall, your poem is thought-provoking and inspiring. Keep up the excellent work! more »
LikeReply 11 year ago
- Daybreak
  Thank you so much! I appreciate your feedback
  LikeReply1 year ago
dougb.19255
This poem makes excellent use of all the corny old expressions no one ever doubted. But here they seem very appropriate. Your admiration for the guy at the rear who toughs it out. Can see it vividly. Do you remember the Olympics video where a marathon runner faltered with muscle cramps. The runner beside him heroically stopped his racing to walk the wounded to the finish line. Crowds going hysterical with applause and cheers. Bravo! Wayne Blair. more »
LikeReply 11 year ago
- Daybreak
  I DO remember! An example of compassion at it’s greatest. Thank you for your feedback. I’m new here….pleasure to meet you
  LikeReply1 year ago

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"Rat Race" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/157692/rat-race>.

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