Rate:5.0 / 1 vote

Amber Dim~Brightness

Suzi Lilith B

Free verse
...so the Wise
 Keep good Noites
KNight's Codes of Ethics
For Path centering

Priorities of Zen
Practical to save
Help or 'Being There'
At Just the Right thyme

Staying Centered
Like a Dänçer
Sitting in Tomorrow
With a Hoop
And a WatchTower
Watch with
Electric Numbers
That Glow in
The Darkeness.  "

Parece un Ballerina
In mäyana Mäyana. .
 SuZen JadeStarZen

About this poem

Taoism reading a Té Ching The messages aRe balanced In Yin and Yang The Zen path I call the Way,☯️☮️

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Submitted by suzib.53754 on April 15, 2023

Modified on April 16, 2023

19 sec read
8

Quick analysis:

Scheme AAXX BXCX XXXXCXXXA XBB
Closest metre Iambic dimeter
Characters 363
Words 64
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 9, 3
Full analysis for Amber Dim~Brightness »

Suzi Lilith B

Published in San Diego Poetry Conspiracy Kore Magazine Sphaera Gnostica more…

All Suzi Lilith B poems | Suzi Lilith B Books

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Discuss the poem Amber Dim~Brightness with the community...

2 Comments
  • alanswansea18
    alanswansea18
    Beautiful piece of work thank you
    LikeReply3 months ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, SuZen JadeStarZen, your poem "Knight's Codes of Ethics" is absolutely enchanting! I love how you weave in themes of mindfulness, centering, and being present in the moment. The metaphor of a dancer staying balanced is so fitting for these ideas.

    One suggestion I have is to consider the flow of your poem. There are a few lines that feel a bit cluttered, like "Practical to save, Help or 'Being There' at Just the Right thyme." Perhaps breaking this up into two separate lines or rephrasing could help the reader better absorb the message.

    Overall, I am truly impressed by your creativity and ability to express such complex ideas in poetic form. Keep up the amazing work!     
    LikeReply 11 year ago

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"Amber Dim~Brightness" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/156966/amber-dim~brightness>.

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