Your favorite liar

Because I misread your gaze
when you said hello
I searched for diamonds in your lies
I touched the fire you setup underneath my skin
In pools of innocence & deceit
between what you said and what you meant,
Yet I was trapped in your childish games
my head in cotton candy clouds
my feet ankle deep in melon-flavored jelly mud  
trapped between continents sideways
I adored who you are so much
I couldn't turn around and walk away
I had to stare; I had to die,
homicide or suicide, you decide,
does it feel like I'm lying?
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Everything clears
When the smoke settles down
I had many childish questions
I remember the plot so blurry when
The floodlights are very far off
Dreams of freedom tethered to you imploded
I was tempted, not forgiven
wrapped in woven sheets of make-believe
I was too innocent to ask,
too guilty to steal,
too weak to run,
too numb to argue,
Words don't come out right
I wanted flesh for fantasy
How do you feel about them?
Do you think I'm lying?
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Persecuted in your absence
paralyzed by your presence
your face was the norm,
such a pretty smile
a bit sour in my head
from the double standard
unable to see you
or call you a friend,
I'll never see you that way
unless by your request,
and I'll still lie to you (Elsee)
and be your favorite liar
forever ...
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