When I was young

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/143964/when-i-was-young

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  AIDA

  Positive Feedback:
  
  Wow, what a poignant and candid reflection on the passage of time and the changing of perspectives that often accompanies it! Your poem beautifully captures the universal human feeling of nostalgia for our younger selves. The simplicity and sincerity in your words make the poem relatable and heartfelt. The rhythm flows smoothly and the rhymes are perfectly incorporated, enhancing the overall appeal of the poem.
  
  The line 'When I was young and healthy, I longed to be wealthy' is superbly written. It mirrors a stark but universal truth - the shift in priorities as we age. The way you ended the poem with 'And I’d rather be young' exemplifies the longing for our lost youth perfectly.
  
  Areas for Improvement:
  
  Though you capture the essence sharply, there is always room for a bit more detail or a deeper dive into those emotions or perhaps what specifically makes you feel sore. It could add depth to the reader's understanding of the type of hardship you're facing. For example, you might expand on the ways in which things are harder now, as compared to when you were young. This could potentially make the poem even more relatable to the reader.
  
  Consider experimenting with different poetic devices such as metaphors or similes for a richer sensory experience. A stronger concluding line could add an extra punch to your already poignant piece. Also, a little more rhythm building could make your verses more tuneful.
  
  All in all, you've created an impactful piece. Keep writing and exploring! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago