Addiction

To whom it may concern,
Never really given it any thought but honestly u might be my biggest flaw Even though I look at you as a best friend everytime I have too much I get closer to the end how many more times must I die inside before u kill me outside how much closer to death will I get before you turn me in how many times do I keep lying to myself and everyone else I’m alive but really dead I mean I’m flying and fighting n tired of smiling but really sick and crying inside I’m starting to feel like that suicidal kid once again I’m alive but deceased you heard what I said alive but I ain’t living when I don’t have you …
If I do this God will I still go to heaven