Fears

I sat in the shower today... without a single inch of movement, I just sat there.  Not full of wondering thoughts, just empty mindedness.
I took a deep breath and watched as the water ran down my face, then neck, then chest... tiny little drops reaching their way to my wounds.

I thought to myself
 "I'm so tired of just BEING... How do I let love- how do I mend my heart, so I can make room?"

 I cried.
 It felt so good to release my fears, letting it all go!
 No sounds, just fears escaping my body in the form of tears.

 I felt that big lump in my throat, and swallowed it down- twas so big, I'm surprised I didn't choke!

After holding it all together, and being "tough" for sooo many moons, that became too many years.

You see, I'm not afraid any more --
So i have no room for regret,
doubt,
or fears.

I've loved,
I've lied,
and I've lived...

After 36 long years-
finally, I see what my Mama always meant when she'd say "sometimes all you need is a good cry, just let it all go, then keep going Pumpkin- after ya wipe away those tears!"