ALONE

Lonely like an ant trying to find its way back
To the que that does not even
Not even once notice its absence
Its funny how they seem everything is okay
That the love they are spreading is enough

But why bother fighting for that little hope
That wouldn't be worth fighting for one time
You know all I need is myself to move
I don't only feel it, infact I can hear it
Its just this time I realize that,
The only love I can spread to save me
Is mine and mine alone.

You see for a very longtime
I have fought for attention
To be noticed, acknowledged and appreciated
But it is only now that I understand that
The affection I am fighting for,
Is not up to my expectations.

Maybe am losing control or even my mind
But how do you tell me that am not alone
When I look around all I see are walls
Whose color is either white or black
I am certain am all alone.

Alone in this world
This world without love
Love I expect from parents
Parents who expect something great from me
Me who doesn't know how to be great
No way to be great if i don't even what great is
That is how I know am alone.

I admit that it hurts
To see that the ones you thought you could lean on
Are looking foward to you being their rock
Their umbrella in stormy rain
Their support all the way
Maybe it hurts because I am a fool but
How do I know when am alone.

It is during nights like these
I remember all those words of comfort I once
Received when I was younger
Unaware of the world's cruelty
I actually wish that I would never grow up
I know you have also been there
So don't promise it will be better
You have been there but never been here
All alone like I thought, right?

There is a time I made memories
Memories that I wish would last forever
But why stay in that bubble of perfection
When the truth is laid bare in front of me
Yes everybody hurts
But how am I supposed to heal
When I am alone.

I wish I was still that young girl
Who used to believe in love
Who used to see forever in the eyes of loved ones
I really miss that girl because she was happy
She knew how to use once in a lifetime opportunities
But she never once noticed the fake smiles
From every corner of the world
But now that she noticed am alone.

Dear future self,
I promise to love you with all i have
Because now l know that my love
Will be enough till the end of the earth
And a message of comfort
I am and will always be loyal to you cause
You wont ever be alone.